Sister, I'm a Poet

mcfly colour bars

2007-02-06T04:34:14Z

[8] McFLY Colour Bars (slash-oriented)

RULES

A. Save the file onto your computer, and upload it to your own server. This will avoid exceeding the bandwidth limit, and you'll be far less likely to wind up with those irritating little X's.

B. Copy your new URL and paste it into the HTML tag (found in the text box beneath the image), between the quotation marks where the TinyPic link is. Be sure the quotes are still there, and that the TinyPic URL is removed. If you don't want to upload the image yourself, keep the TinyPic URL. If you have any problems with this, comment me and I'll be happy to help you out :]

C. There is no need to link my journal beneath the image, the credit will appear when you hover overtop of it. Most of the bases were also made by me, but I have given credit to the ones that weren't.

D. Let me know what you think! I don't make graphics all that often, so feedback would be spectacular.

Enjoy!

x-posted to mcflyslash

slash_100 ; 009

2006-12-24T19:28:22Z

Title: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas
Fandom: McFly
Characters: Danny Jones/Harry Judd
Prompt: 057;Christmas
Word Count: 781
Rating: PG
Summary: 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
Author's Notes: So I'm in the Christmas mood obviously. Two stories in two days? I'm shocked.

Huffing slightly, Santa climbed out of his sleigh and carefully balanced himself on the rooftop. He’d fallen off the roof of the last house, having not expected a patch of ice where he landed. He pulled out a long scroll from the glove compartment and read off the names of the next two people.

“Alright in this house we have Danny Jones and Harry Judd.”

The little helper elf searched through the large bag, and quickly pulled out two separate packages. One was a relatively small size, a new Cry Baby effects pedal for Danny. The other though, a new set of cymbals, was larger in size and would never fit down the chimney. This wasn’t a huge problem really, all Elf!Bourne had to do was sprinkle a small amount of shrinking dust and the gift would have no trouble making it down.

While Elf!Bourne prepared the gifts, Santa carefully made his way towards the chimney. He took very small steps, making sure that each foot was safe and stable before moving again. When he finally reached the chimney, Santa grabbed onto it tightly. He heard Rudolph snicker, and turned his head to glare at him.

“Don’t laugh! It’s not funny. That last drop hurt, I’ve probably bruised from it.” This only succeeded in making all the reindeer giggle, so Santa just rolled his eyes and turned back to look down the chimney. “Oh bloody hell, they’ve lit the fire.” Santa hated it when people lit fires. Didn’t they understand that the chimney was his only way inside?

Like a good little helper, Elf!Bourne was immediately at Santa’s side with a handful of anti-fire dust. They couldn’t put the flames out with water, because then Santa wouldn’t be able to re-light the fire on his way out. Santa watched as Elf!Bourne sprinkled the dust down the chimney, and within seconds the fire was out and it was safe to go.

“Thanks again, Elf!Bourne.”

“No problem boss!”

Taking a deep breath, Santa slowly let go of the chimney and started to climb onto the edge. He managed to get up without loosing his balance, and as he prepared himself for the dive Elf!Bourne handed him the two gifts. With one foot on either side of the hole, Santa put his arms up straight, sucked in his chest, and jumped straight down. It always amazed Elf!Bourne that such a plump old man could fit almost every single time.

Santa landed on top of the logs, but ended up on his bottom when one of them had rolled away. His bright red suit was now covered in charcoal, the logs were scattered across the living room, and all Santa could think about was how mad Mrs. Claus would be when he got home. He gathered up all the logs that had rolled and set them back in the firplace, grumbling underneath his breath.

Despite the minor setback, Santa climbed out of the fireplace and made his way over to the decorated tree. He bent down and placed the two gifts beneath it, then grabbed some sparkly dust from his pocket which returned the gifts to their regular size. He was glad that he’d gotten all the deliveries for children out of the way, because adults always asked for less and that made Santa’s job much easier.

As he turned around to look for milk and cookies, Santa was met with a sight he hadn’t expected. On the couch lay the two young men, the taller curled up with his chest against the other’s back, and his arm wrapped protectively around the other man’s torso. A blanket was loosely draped across their bodies, but it had slipped down slightly to reveal their entwined legs.

The sight warmed Santa’s heart, and all his grumpiness and moodiness seemed to vanish. The fall, the fires, and the charcoal all left his mind too. It reminded him of the nights he used to spend in front of the fire with Mrs. Claus before they married, and all he wanted to do was go home to be with her. He grabbed the cookies and carrots with a smile, and silently climbed back out the chimney. Elf!Bourne re-lit the fire as Santa gave a carrot to each of the reindeer, all of whom were confused at Santa’s sudden change of mood.

“What happened in there?” Vixen asked when Santa had climbed back into the sleigh.

Santa didn’t reply, he just shook his head with a smile and crossed the two young lovers off his list. He made a note to do something extra for them next year, because they had reminded him that Christmas isn’t just about presents. It’s about love.

( x-posted to mcflyslash )

slash_100; 008

2006-12-24T02:18:37Z

Title: Snow
Fandom: McFly
Characters: Tom Fletcher/Dougie Poynter
Prompt: 042;Snow
Word Count: 718
Rating: PG
Summary: Dougie loves the snow. Tom doesn't.
Author's Notes: Perhaps I should invest in a beta-er because I'm always too lazy to check over these.

Tom stood shivering with his arms wrapped around himself, attempting to glare at Dougie as the young boy twirled about in the snow. It was the first snowfall of the season, but it had come two days earlier than the weatherman had forecasted, and Tom silently cursed the bloke who’d done the news that morning. But it wasn’t the weatherman’s fault Tom was outside before sunrise freezing his arse off.

It was two fourty-three in the morning when Dougie had begun to pound on the blonde’s bedroom door. Tom could’ve told him to bug off. He could’ve slammed the door in Dougie’s face and gone back to sleep. But there he stood on the front lawn in a tee shirt, boxers, and slippers, wondering when the hell he’d gotten so whipped. They were going to wake up later that morning to open gifts anyway, Dougie surely could’ve waited a few hours to be doing this.

But one look at Dougie changed Tom’s attitude. The young boy had his arms wide open and his head thrown back, letting the snowflakes fall gently onto his face. Eyes closed, corners of his mouth turned up slightly, little white specs stuck all over his body, Tom could only think that this was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen. His scowl morphed into a smile as he watched Dougie moving as free and happy as a child.

Dougie eventually slowed to a stop, his eyes landing on a freezing cold Tom. He laughed as he took a few steps, and wrapped his arms around the blonde. Tom unhooked his arms and wrapped them around Dougie, then leant down to press a small kiss to the boy’s forehead.

“Sorry I dragged you with me,” he said quietly, then giggled again when Tom shivered.

“It’s okay, as long as we can go inside now.”

“But I love the snow.”

“But I’m frozen.”

“But it’s pretty, I want to stay.”

“But if you stay out here, Santa’s not going to visit.” Tom laughed softly as Dougie pouted, and despite the younger boy’s protests, the two made their way back inside. Dougie regrettably parted and dashed up the stairs, while Tom made his way into the kitchen to boil some water. He shivered as he took out the chocolate powder and the tiny marshmallows, hoping that he wouldn’t catch a cold from the short time spent outside.

The image of Dougie, so innocent and carefree out there in the snow, burned itself in Tom’s mind. He cared for the boy, probably much more than he should, and it almost made him sick to think about what he was doing to Giovanna. True that he and Dougie hadn’t even properly kissed, but if it weren’t for the boy’s child-like innocence, they probably would have.

He’d been so lost in thought that he nearly jumped from his skin when the kettle boiled and made a rather loud whistling sound. Still shivering slightly, he poured the water into two mugs and added the powder and marshmallows. Tom knew that one of Dougie’s favourite things to drink this time of year was hot chocolate, he just hoped that when Dougie ran off he wasn’t headed off to bed. As he made his way toward the stairs, he heard his name being called from the living room. Tom smiled warmly as he saw Dougie sat on the couch, legs curled up and his body completely enveloped by a blanket.

“What are you doing in here Doug?”

“I’m sleeping here tonight,” he said with a smile, and took one of the mugs from Tom with a thank you. Tom joined Dougie on the couch, but before he could even take a sip of his drink, Dougie opened the blanket and snuggled up next to him. No words were exchanged as the two boys sat there and finished their hot chocolate, watching the snow fall outside the window.

It wasn’t long before Tom’s eyes began to droop, and he shifted slightly so that he could lay back on the pillow Dougie had brought down. He felt Dougie’s thin frame lay half atop him, and another content smile grew across his face when the boy’s head made contact with his chest. It was then that Tom decided he loved the snow, too.

( x-posted to mcflyslash )

slash_100 ; 007

2006-12-19T02:16:09Z

Title: Waltz Poynter, Finale
Fandom: McFly
Characters: Dougie Poynter/Danny Jones
Prompt: 030;Sight
Word Count: 554
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dougie's developed a rather intense infatuation, and Danny doesn't have a clue.
Author's Notes: I haven't thoroughlly checked this, so I apologize in advance for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors.

Part One
Part Two

Dougie sat completely still, his head buried in the crook of Danny’s neck. He didn’t even move when the older boy began to play with his hair. There was an almost painful silence that filled the room, threatening to aggravate Dougie’s nerves to their breaking point, but those warm strong hands running through his hair were keeping him strangely calm. He would have been rather content if Danny stopped asking questions, but this was Danny and Danny always asked questions. More questions than really necessary.

“Why are you chasing a bloke that doesn’t even know? Maybe you should tell him. What if he fancies you too?”

Dougie felt a bit strange talking about Danny as if the boy weren’t even in the same building, when in reality it was Danny he was telling all of this to. At the same time though, it felt good to get it off his chest. He felt a pang somewhere in his heart at the thought of telling Danny, and he just closed his eyes tightly as he remained in Danny’s embrace.

“He couldn’t, it’s not possible..” he sighed, shifting his head a bit. He wanted to badly just to admit everything to Danny, but there was something holding him back. He couldn’t do it in person, he wouldn’t be able to handle the humiliation. Dougie hoped that whenever Danny found out, he wouldn’t be in the room. “Maybe if he would just open his eyes, he’d realize..” Dougie pondered, not realizing that he’d just said it aloud.

The silence that fell between he and Danny scared him, he knew Danny was racking his brain, trying to figure out who it was that had captured Dougie’s heart. As much as he wanted to move, in case Danny did figure it out, he was glued to his spot. And as much as he wanted to crawl into a hole and cry, he couldn’t. His aching heart told him to stay, to wait for Danny to understand, so he did. He waited in the thick silence for an answer, a question, anything. His breath caught in his throat when Danny muttered four little words.

“His eyes are open.”

Dougie still couldn’t move. He needed to know what Danny was thinking, even if the boy was disgusted, Dougie needed to know. He’d gone long enough, chasing and lusting after one of his best friends, and him not having the slightest idea. “Fuck..” was all that left Dougie’s mouth.

All coherent thought seemed to leave Dougie for a few moments, and it even felt like his heart had stopped beating. He was overrun with nervousness and anticipation, waiting to hear Danny tell him he’s disgusted. He swallowed heavily when he felt Danny’s nose against his cheek, and he jolted back slightly, looking up at Danny in confusion. To his surprise he didn’t meet the boy’s deep blue eyes, in fact, they were closed. Dougie’s own eyes were wide in horror, and he couldn’t fathom why Danny hadn’t shoved him away yet. He truly hadn’t been expecting the reaction he got from Danny, and so he had no idea what he was meant to do.

“D-Danny..” he stuttered out, voice unintentionally wavering. Dougie was vulnerable. Vulnerable, and completely frightened. But everything fell into their exact positions when Danny answered.

“His heart is open, too.”

fin

( x-posted to mcflyslash )

slash_100 ; 006

2006-06-05T00:43:29Z

Title: Waltz Poynter, Part Two
Fandom: McFly
Characters: Dougie Poynter/Danny Jones
Prompt: 064;Agony
Word Count: 1233
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dougie's developed a rather intense infatuation, and Danny doesn't have a clue.
Author's Notes: I haven't thoroughlly checked this, so I apologize in advance for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors.

Part One

Dougie looked up to Danny, trying to mentally prepare himself for the reaction he was sure to get from the guitarist. He knew there was no ‘sort of’ in cheating, it was either you cheated, or you didn’t. The other boy’s eyes had grown wide for a moment, before he chuckled in disbelief. Dougie gulped when Danny pulled his legs off his lap, and crawled over to sit next to him.

“Really?”

Dougie’s eyes remained on the guitarist’s face, watching his plush lips morph from a surprised smile to a gentle smirk. The bassist could feel the heat rushing through his body as he studied Danny, the cheeky-yet-undeniably-sexy smirk threatening to send Dougie into a frenzy.

“With who?”

The pressure was building inside him, and the bassist could feel tiny beads of sweat beginning to roll down from his temples. He stiffened up once again when Danny moved closer still, and his breathing quickened the moment he could feel the other boy’s heat radiating from his toned body. He bit at his lip briefly before shrugging and mumbling a simple “no one,” hoping that Danny would leave it at that. He knew the guitarist wouldn’t, not even if he was high. Dougie admired Danny for it most of the time, but when it came down to something Dougie really didn’t want him to know, he wished the boy would leave him be.

Dougie was tempted to lean against Danny, in fact, it was all he wanted, to have Danny’s body pressed up against his own. He resisted the urge, knowing that it would only make the situation worse. The guitarist must have sensed Dougie’s nervousness, because he backed away and lay back down on the couch. Much to Dougie’s regret, Danny’s feet didn’t return to his lap.

Dougie could see the concentration in Danny’s face, and it worried him to think that Danny was so intent on figuring the whole situation out. It was never good for Danny to think too hard, as it either resulted in the boy getting a headache, or on those rare occasions, actually finding out the truth.

Dougie’s eyes flickered down to Danny’s strong hands, that were at the moment playing with the frayed hole in his jeans. The bassist felt the corners of his mouth twitch into a slight smile, and he silently admired how cute and childlike the boy looked with nearly everything he did.

“Well..uh, yes it was somebody. Tell me, wanker.”

Dougie huffed a bit and looked down at the floor, suddenly feeling cold and alone since Danny’s body had been removed from his side. Dougie searched his mind for an acceptable answer to give Danny. He couldn’t just give Danny a random name, because he knew Danny wouldn’t buy it. He watched Danny from the corner of his eyes, his cheeks growing hot again when the boy’s tongue snaked out to run over his lips.

“I..” he started, desperately searching for the logical part of his brain that seemed to vanish every time Danny was around. “I don’t know why I said that…I didn’t even actually cheat on her..” Dougie confessed, before drawing his lip between his teeth again.

Dougie wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to stand being half-naked on a couch, alone in a room with another extremely sexy and half-naked male, who just so happened to be one of his best mates. Sooner or later, Dougie knew he was going to crack. His thoughts and desires were too overwhelming, and it was only a matter of time until the wall he was hiding behind crumbled. Dougie heard Danny sigh heavily, the boy obviously getting frustrated with Dougie’s antics.

“No, it was either cheating, or not cheating at all. It’s like, black and white, either it happened or it didn’t. None of this grey area. So tell me who the devil it was, or I’m going to crawl over there and force it out of you.”

Dougie grew increasingly anxious under Danny’s intense gaze, and he began to fidget in his spot on the couch. He would have rather liked to be pinned to the cushions by Danny, as well as a few other closely related activities, if it weren’t for the fact that it would mean Danny would find out his little secret.

“There wasn’t anyone!” He exclaimed, his voice harsher than he’d intended for it to sound. He was getting frustrated, more so for the fact that eventually, Danny would weasel it out of him. “I didn’t fucking cheat on her.” Dougie knew that he would quickly have to come up with a better excuse, so that Danny wouldn’t figure out that he’s hiding something. “I just..I’ve been thinking a lot about someone else..” He froze once he finished, coming to the harsh realization that he’d just admitted being attracted to someone other than Lauren.

Dougie cocked his head to the side slightly, watching as Danny scooted back against the arm of the chesterfield, and swallowed nervously. Dougie could see the surprise on Danny’s face, and immediately felt bad for raising his voice, because Danny had that sort of effect on him. No matter how angry or aggravated he was, one little pout, or one little hint of sadness in the boy’s eyes could completely change Dougie’s mood. Dougie had thought for a moment that Danny would finally drop the subject, but of course with his luck, Danny blurted out his next question.

“Who’ve you been thinking ‘bout mate?”

“Oh God” he groaned in frustration, dropping his head into his hands. Dougie was in deep, and there was no way he could get out of the hole he’d dug for himself. He shook his head violently back and forth in his hands, wishing that maybe tears would come. “I love her, Danny, I do..” he said, voice strained slightly, “but I can’t help it..” Dougie knew his words were scattered, and that Danny probably wouldn’t understand, but his mind wasn’t able to form coherent sentences. “I want..” he started, stopping himself just in time, before he said the word ‘you.’ He lowered his voice and whispered the words “..I want him.” Maybe, just maybe, admitting that he thought he might be gay would be enough for Danny.

“Uh..whoa. Well um, what’s...he...like?”

The next thing Dougie felt was Danny’s arm sliding around his shoulders awkwardly. He could hear the surprise in his friend’s voice, and it pained him to think of how Danny would react if Dougie told him the complete truth. But for the first time in weeks, Dougie didn’t flinch or tense up when Danny touched him.

With every second that passed, Dougie’s emotions grew more and more overwhelming, and at that moment, his feelings changed. He didn’t just want Danny anymore, he needed Danny. The boy was filling each of his senses, so much so that Dougie couldn’t help it when he buried his head in the guitarist’s shoulder.

Up until then, Dougie would have wished he could go back to being happy with Lauren, but something inside him had just changed in those past few moments. Suddenly, Dougie didn’t want to go back to Lauren. He needed Danny, and he would have to live with the total agony of feeling that way.

“He’s perfect. He’s everything I love about Lauren and more..” Dougie whispered, before adding on, “and he hasn’t a fucking clue.”

Continue to Part Three (Finale)

( x-posted to mcflyslash )

slash_100 ; 005

2006-05-25T01:31:14Z

Title: Waltz Poynter, Part One
Fandom: McFly
Characters: Dougie Poynter/Danny Jones
Prompt: 076;Secrets
Word Count: 1177
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dougie's developed a rather intense infatuation, and Danny hasn't a clue.
Author's Notes: I died for a bit :/ But I'm back with a new story! I rarely ever write multi-chaptered stories, but this would be far too long if it was a standalone. This is part one of three.

Dougie opened his mouth up wide as he shouted into the thick, hot air surrounding him on the stage. He was perched atop one of the feedback monitors, playing his heart out to the kids bouncing up and down in front of him. He was completely lost in the music, forgetting everything that had happened between Danny and Tom the previous night.

Dougie had been watching from his side of the stage as Danny strolled over to Tom’s microphone, towards the end of 'All About You.' The two stood mere centimeters away from one another-not an unusual occurrence for the pair-and sang the last line in perfect harmony. Something new happened that night though, Tom had leaned in that extra distance and pressed his lips square onto Danny’s. Dougie was mortified that the other guitarist had just kissed the object of the bassist’s affections. It had been all the boy had thought about, until he began playing that half-hour ago.

The bassist played as hard as he could for the last few bars of the song, his legs spread in a wide stance as he shook his head to the beat of Harry’s drums. His fingertips were raw and near bleeding, but to Dougie it was a sign that he’d given all that he had. The crowd erupted into a chorus of screams, whistles, and clapping, and Dougie grinned broadly, waving to the kids. He removed the guitar from around his neck and handed it to one of the roadies, before facing the crowd and blowing the lot a kiss.

Sweat rolled down his body as he exited, and the moment he made it backstage he tugged the sopping wet shirt over his head. Danny was the furthest thing from his mind at that moment, so he hadn’t thought twice about possibly being half-naked in the same room as the other boy. Dougie, still high from pure adrenaline, grinned and clapped Harry on the back before the other celebrity scampered off to the tour bus.

"How’d you like that show?"

Dougie had immediately frozen the moment he’d heard Danny’s distinct voice. It took almost all of the boy’s free will to forget that he was shirtless, and muster up a coherent answer.

"One of the better on the tour, I think," he’d said unenthusiastically, all thoughts from earlier flooding his mind again.

It took all the courage that Dougie had to turn around and face the guitarist, but the moment he did so, he wished he hadn’t. His breath caught in his throat as he came face to face with a wet, sweaty, half-naked, and unfathomably sexy Daniel Jones. He’s nearly creamed himself at the sight. Danny had evidently found time on his way off the stage to peel off his shirt and soak his whole upper body with a water bottle. He stood tall and grinned innocently at Dougie through his matted, wet hair, and lifted his hand in a cute, friendly wave.

"I think so too, mate. You sounded and looked so good up there!" The guitarist giggled, and tucked his thumbs into the belt loops on his jeans to tug them down slightly.

Dougie gulped, unable to take his eyes off the boy standing in front of him. His cheeks grew hot when Danny mentioned something about him looking good, though he hadn’t heard exactly what was said, given that the bassist was rather distracted. His heart warmed at Danny’s cute little wave, it reminded him of the shy and slightly socially awkward guy that Danny had once been. Dougie grew even more flustered when his eye caught the dangerously low-slung jeans, and he forced himself to turn away before he did something stupid.

Much to Dougie’s dismay, Tom and Fletch left the room moments later, leaving he and Danny alone. He flopped down onto the couch placed not-so-strategically on the opposite wall, and he used every last bit of his will to keep his eyes on the floor. Danny had given a quick goodbye ceremony to the other two, which mostly consisted of Danny giving each a kiss on the cheek, and then waddled over to the couch Dougie was on. The guitarist curled into the other side, stretching his legs out far and setting them down right in Dougie’s lap.

"Did you not hear me?" Danny asked after a few long moments, for once noticing that Dougie hadn’t actually replied to his comment.

Dougie sunk further into the couch, before momentarily slipping off into his own little world. All he could seem to think about was Danny. The way Danny looked when he woke up, hair strewn about, eyes half-closed and slightly puffy. The way Danny would come to Dougie when he was upset, that slight pout on his perfect lips, his eyes devoid of their usual warmth. The way Danny would glide his fingers over the fret board of his beloved guitar, completely lost in himself and his music. The cute, content little grin stuck on Danny’s face when the two got high together. Danny consumed Dougie’s thoughts, and as much as he tried, he couldn’t think of his girlfriend in the way that he used to.

He was shaken from his thoughts when he felt a sudden pressure on his crotch, and he tensed up again as he looked over to Danny.

"Uh.." was all he could say, he just hoped Danny wouldn’t ask why he was so out of it.

Dougie noticed the slight pout that had grown on Danny’s lips, and he watched the way the guitarist lay back to move his hands to his still wet stomach. Danny folded his fingers over his lower abdomen, and once again Dougie found his eyes glued to the other male’s body.

"Aye, what’s up with you tonight?" The guitarist asked, shifting his feet a bit to get comfortable.

Dougie had to bite down roughly on his tongue to hold back the sounds that were threatening to escape. During the set, the vibrations from his bass, the other guitars, and the drums, made his senses triple in intensity. He became overly sensitive, and his band mates would often tease him by ‘accidentally’ creating friction in his trousers. This time though, it didn’t seem that Danny was taking the piss on him.

He chewed on the muscle for a few long moments, his mind drawing blank in terms of an explanation for his peculiar behaviour. He couldn’t very well tell Danny the truth, because despite being his best mate, the truth would simply destroy their relationship.

"Uh.." he started, his mind racing at a pace he couldn’t keep up with, and he ended up blurting out "I cheated on Lauren." It wasn’t a bad excuse really, but he didn’t want it to get back to her since it wasn’t the truth, so he added, "..sort of." As soon as he did though, he flinched, knowing the questions Danny was going to throw at him next. Dougie had just made his third big mistake of the evening; he’d set himself up for complete disaster.

Continue to Part Two

( x-posted to mcflyslash )

slash_100 ; 004

2006-04-08T00:14:23Z

Title: That Boy
Fandom: McFly
Characters: Dougie Poynter/Harry Judd
Prompt: 014;Strangers
Word Count: 1571
Rating: PG
Summary: Dougie's band plays at a convention, but little to his knowledge, he's about to meet the man of his ~~wet~~ dreams.
Author's Notes: This is dedicated to kamily_emilla, for surprising me by reading my other stories, and totally making my day by doing so.

After making sure his bass was plugged in and tuned properly, Dougie and the rest of his band filtered out onto the small stage. The lead singer slash guitarist introduced the band and they begin to play the first song of the night. They were doing something new tonight, because instead of playing for a crowd of teenagers who would jump and mosh and go bonkers, they were playing for a group of slightly older people, more in their 20s. Dougie noticed that it was more of a gathering or a party, rather than a concert. Nevertheless, he began to play his heart out, watching the people drinking, dancing, and the few who seemed to actually be paying attention to the band.

Dougie moved around on stage, performing all of his favourite tricks with his bass, like flipping it around his neck. It didn't take long for him to loosen up, and he very quickly became lost in the music. The band continued to play, and the crowd became one big blur to Dougie as he bounced around. He would occasionally have to sing, but that never bothered Dougie at all. He loved the attention.

He hadn't originally wanted to play that evening, but his band mates were able to persuade him to play, in order to help him get over his recent break up. Dougie decided he would finally take action against the witch he’d once called his girlfriend, and do what he'd dreamed of doing for a long time. That night, he was going to pull a guy.

Eventually it came time for an interlude in their set, and the guitarist in the band played a quiet, simple riff as the lead singer proceeded to chat up the crowd for a few moments. Dougie stood facing the audience, eyes scanning the large amount of people as he tried to catch his breath. His eyes landed on a girl in the middle of the dance floor, and the first thing Dougie thought was how fit she looked, all sweaty and panting from dancing.

While the lead singer thanked the crowd, Dougie watched as the girl walked over to a couple, who were standing quite close to each other. They looked as though they had quite exerted themselves, and he figured they had been grinding and winding until the music stopped. This girl proceeded to join the pair, and he briefly wondered if all three of them would dance together when the music started again. That's when Dougie's eyes landed on him. The guy in the pair that the girl had just joined. He was fit. Really fit. Dougie wanted him.

The two girls were hanging off of him like he was a God. A God in fitted blue jeans and a tight The Who tee, which was drenched in several different substances. His hair clung to his forehead with sweat, his drunken charm radiating like the heat from his body. The man finally raised his eyes to the stage, probably unsure as to why the music had stopped, and came into direct contact with Dougie’s gaze. A smirk grew on Dougie’s face when he had locked eyes with the man for those few moments, and it was then that he knew he just might have a chance. That this stranger could possibly like men as well.

The man swayed slightly from the alcohol, and looked away as if he had seen nothing of interest, something Dougie knew was impossible. He scoffed and turned to face the drummer as he waited for the other male to count them into the next song. They only had a few songs left on their set, and Dougie was determined to play his best, and look his best as well. He bounced slightly until it came time for him to sing, so situated himself in front of his microphone, and made sure his legs were spread slightly before he began singing. The crowd began to blur together again, and all he could make out were the large group of people moving along to the beat.

Their set ended with a bang, and Dougie couldn't help but grin at his band mates, quite pleased with the way the show went. He waved to the crowd, silently thanking them, and unplugged his bass before heading off the stage. He quickly cleared his equipment off the stage to allow the next band to set up, and changed into a different top.

It wasn't long before Dougie was back inside the building, but this time he was on the floor. He quickly scanned the room for that man, and pulled a face when he realized he would have no such luck. He decided he would have a drink or two instead, to top off the wonderful night he'd had. "Jack and coke, please" he said, loud enough for the bartender to hear him, before tossing a five pound note onto the counter.

Dougie took his change from the bartender and scooped up his glass, downing the beverage in just a matter of seconds. His eyes drifted closed for a few moments as he willed the alcohol to consume him, and when he opened his eyes again, a new body was perched next to his. Dougie allowed his eyes to wander over, and he couldn't help the smirk that formed on his lips when his eyes landed on the man from the dance floor. Just as he was about to open his mouth, his band mate Danny bounced over.

"Aye Dougie, what're you drinking tonight dude?"

Dougie chuckled softly and ordered a second jack and coke before thanking his friend for buying him the drink. Dougie leaned forward slightly when Danny was about to leave, and playfully let his hand connect to the other boy's ass with a semi-loud smack.

"Knock 'em dead, Danny. Snog one for me, mate!" Dougie laughed and took a sip of his drink, making sure to glance over to the object of his attraction occasionally. He watched as a girl approached him, but tried not to be obvious with his gaze.

"Harry, we should really go now. It’s getting late and you’ve got your stupid photo shoot tomorrow!" She had said to the man, whom he now knew simply to be called Harry. Harry laughed drunkenly and ordered another drink.

"Nay, let me have one more drink, and take a fancy fit girl home. I want some action." Harry laughed again and shoved the girl back into the crowd, before gratefully accepting the drink from the bartender. He downed it in nearly a minute, flat.

Dougie frowned slightly at the mention of taking a girl home, and he wondered for a moment if maybe he'd picked the wrong guy. Huffing to himself as the girl walked away, Dougie reassured himself that he was doing the best thing. He quickly turned back to face the bar, being sure to brush against Harry in the process. He gulped down the remains of his second drink, slamming the glass down onto the counter. By this time, the next band had started up, and an unfamiliar beat had begun to fill the room.

Harry glanced up at Dougie when their skin came into contact, and Dougie could feel the man’s eyes scanning him. For a moment, Dougie felt vulnerable and exposed under Harry’s strong stare, but he willed himself to keep his cool. He casually turned to look at Harry, and was met with the most intense pair of blue eyes he had ever seen. Dougie couldn’t look away.

"Nice show."

"You think? It’s our first time playing here-"

"That’s not what I meant."

Dougie’s expression became one of momentary confusion, and even surprise. For a drunk, Harry was surprisingly assertive. He chose not to reply, and instead waited in silence for the man to continue.

"Playing hard to get. Acting innocent. But I know for a fact you haven’t stopped thinking of me all night."

Dougie furrowed his brow and forced himself to look away, embarrassed that he’d been caught. But he would never show it. Trying his best to remain collected, Dougie shrugged.

"If you say so." This caused Harry to smirk. No more words were exchanged between the two for the time being, and Harry turned back to the bar, calling over the tender.

"Could I get a piece of ass for my mate and I here?"

Dougie stared in disbelief, jaw hanging ajar, and blinked for a few long moments before he realized that it was the name of a drink. He laughed and picked up the small shot glass, and looked over to the devastatingly handsome Harry.

"Here’s to hoping we’ll get some tonight" Harry smirked, clinking his glass with Dougie’s and downing it. Dougie mimicked Harry’s actions and swallowed the alcohol greedily, already starting to feel the beginnings of intoxication. After setting the shot glasses down, the two men just stared at each other, and all Dougie could think about was shagging Harry senseless.

Harry rose from his seat at the bar and stood directly in front of Dougie. The man nodded his head to the side, motioning silently for the door, before he took off leaving a very surprised Dougie. He had done it. Somehow, Dougie had pulled the fittest man in the building. Dougie tossed a tip towards the bartender, before swiftly making his way out of the building, following Harry into a taxicab.

( posted separately to mcflyslash )

slash_100 ; 003

2006-03-16T04:20:22Z

Title: Your Heart is Racing as Your Fingers Touch Your Skin
Fandom: McFly
Characters: Dougie Poynter, Harry Judd
Prompt: 078;Discovery
Word Count: 2794
Rating: R
Summary: Dougie never objected to anything. How could someone so casual, and accepting of everything have suddenly exploded with such a tidal wave of anger?
Author's Notes: Alternate Universe fic. Graphic Dougie/Dougie scene. Reader discretion is advised.

He whimpers as you pull his bottom lip into your mouth, gently biting the flesh. His arms snake around your waist and he pulls you towards him, walking backwards. He slides his hands up and under your shirt as he pulls his tongue out of your mouth and traces his way down your neck. Two identical moans fill the air as your bodies come crashing down together on the bed.

You run your hands through his shaggy black hair as your tongue plays with his earlobe, and you feel the vibration of his moan flow through you to a place painfully close to your manhood. You pull away and sit up, grabbing hold of your shirt and pulling it over your head. You discard it and quickly remove his, tossing it into an unknown corner of the hotel room.

You almost fall over as he jolts upright, and you throw your arms around him to keep yourself in position. Your open mouths attach and your tongues battle for space in his mouth. You drop one of your hands to his lap, slowly rubbing him through his clothing. He groans and you feel your pants become more restricting by the second.

He pries his mouth off yours for a moment, just long enough to fiddle with your belt, and you take advantage of this opportunity to abandon your pants. He whimpers as you stand up, but a satisfied grin overcomes his face when you lean over to remove his pants as well. He aids you by kicking them to the ground, and you immediately attack his collarbone with your tongue.

He writhes underneath you, and you cant help but smile as you run your tongue in circles around his nipple. You pull away and blow lightly on the saliva-coated skin, feeling him shiver beneath you. This process is repeated again on the other side. Pleased with his reaction, you trail down his torso, paying close attention to the sensitive skin of his hips.

He arches his back, craving for your touch and you gladly accept his silent proposal. You wrap your lips around the tip of his cock and very slowly engulf him. You work your tongue around as you bob your head, and he groans loudly, unconsciously bucking his hips. He tangles his hands in your dark hair, and you can tell he’s getting close, so you slow down and lift your mouth away, licking your lips. He whimpers and you smirk, crawling up his body and kissing him fiercely.

He whispers for you to take him and that he can’t wait any longer, but before he even finishes his sentence you’re sliding a lubed finger inside him.

"Harry, honey, Dougie’s here!"

Fumbling with the mouse and nearly jumping out of his skin, Harry quickly stands up to block the computer screen from his mother’s view. She had burst through his bedroom door without so much as a knock, something she’s rather fond of doing.

She looks curiously at her son for a few moments, whom hasn’t even turned around to face her, before shrugging and heading back down the hallway towards the front door.

Harry just scoffs as he hears his door shut, and plops back down into his chair. This is the third time this week she’s walked in on him reading some varying degree of erotica, and each of those times he’s had a rather large tent in his jeans. Harry’s certain she’ll find out what’s going on, but he can only hope that day doesn’t ever come.

The familiar sound of his best mate’s footsteps rings in Harry’s ears, and a small smile creeps onto his face. Surely, Dougie wouldn’t mind if Harry relieved himself. Dougie never objected to anything.

Just as expected, the younger boy slowly turns the doorknob, and quietly, almost hesitantly enters the room.

"Hey Dougie."

"Sup Harry."

"Mind if I jerk off?"

"Go right ahead."

Dougie waits for Harry to move over to the bed, and when he does, he snatches the computer chair. This isn’t unusual for the two, masturbating in the presence of the other. This is natural for them.

Harry, sitting down on the edge of the mattress, points to the computer screen without thinking.

"You have to read that shit, Doug."

The other boy just giggles and turns his attention to the story. As he begins reading, Harry allows his eyes to scan over the back of his best mate’s body. From the wild, untamed mop of brown hair, to the bright green tee shirt, to the unusually tight (for him, anyway) and tattered jeans. Dougie is cute. Too cute, Harry decides. And so very, very innocent.

The older boy darts his tongue out to wet his lips, watching closely for any reactions from his friend. He is slightly disappointed when he sees none. "Well?" he asks. Poor Harry forgets momentarily that he hasn't actually told Dougie he's gay. He’s just assumed that Dougie knows.

Dougie clears his throat.

"Dougie?"

Nothing.

"Dude. You even listening to me?"

Still nothing. A now horribly befuddled Harry stands from the bed and walks the short distance to his computer. Cautiously, he rests a hand on the boy’s shoulder, but quickly withdraws when Dougie nearly jumps out of his skin.

"Dougie, what the fuck?"

Harry takes a step to the side, to get a better look at his friend’s face. Harry’s brow furrows when he catches the almost horrified expression. Jaw hanging open slightly, honeyed eyes wide and shocked, Harry can’t remember the last time he’d seen his usually laid-back friend so...surprised.

Dougie, after regaining some coherent thought, slowly raises a finger to point at the screen. Harry only grows more confused.

"That’s...G-...wh-...two g-guys?"

Harry nods slowly, wary about the way Dougie’s acting. "Yeah..." he says hesitantly.

Dougie's eyes grow wider. "Harry," he says quietly, pausing for a moment. "What the fuck..."

"Douglet, what the hell is wrong with you?"

The younger boy shakes his head furiously, and jumps up from the chair. "I have to go," he says quickly, and immediately turns to leave the room. Harry follows right after him, grabbing for the boy’s arm.

"Douglas Poynter, what the hell are you on about? Yes that was two guys, but what’s the big deal? You’ve never had a problem with guys being gay before."

Dougie struggles with his arm, eventually freeing it from Harry’s strong grasp. "Maybe I’m pissed off with you, did you ever think of that? Maybe I’m pissed because I’m supposed to be your best mate and you didn’t even tell me?" The younger boy falls silent for a moment, before scoffing and heading down the hallway towards the front door. This makes Harry mildly nervous. What would happen if his nosy mother hears this? He doesn’t even want to think about it.

"Tell you what?" Harry asks desperately, following Dougie through the house. This makes Dougie even more upset. How could Harry be so thick? He suddenly stops in his spot, and turns around furiously.

"That you’re gay?!" He shouts. "I’m your best mate for God’s sake! How could you keep something like this from me?"

Harry winces. Never has he heard his best friend raise his voice. Not once.

"Dougie, I-"

Dougie cuts him off. "No, Harry I don’t want to hear it. If you can’t even trust me enough to tell me, why should I waste my time trusting you? I’m leaving."

Harry stands dumbfounded as he hears the words coming from Dougie’s mouth. He wants to tell him he’s sorry, he wants to explain that he thought he already knew. But nothing comes out of his slack-jawed mouth. Harry simply watches in horror as his best mate walks out the door.

Harry doesn’t even know how many minutes pass as he remains glued to the spot, contemplating what had just happened. Could Dougie really not have known? Had he never picked up on all the signals? This is all too overwhelming. Harry doesn’t understand how someone so casual, and accepting of everything could have suddenly exploded with such a tidal wave of anger. It just doesn’t make sense. Something must have set him off, gotten inside his head. That’s the only explanation. Something must have been bothering Dougie and Harry must have made it worse.

Dougie couldn’t really be mad at Harry, could he? No. There is something more to this. There has to be.

A now very determined Harry jumps into a pair of shoes and runs out the door without a word to his mother. He has to speak to Dougie, and he doesn’t want to waste his precious time and breath on her.

_____

Dougie collapses onto the bed on his back, laying there for a moment and taking a deep breath. His eyes slip shut and the previous event flashes through his mind. How could he have been so foolish? He had completely overreacted, and feels sick to his stomach knowing he had just yelled at his best mate. He isn’t really cross with Harry, because it obviously wasn’t his fault Dougie was too blind to see the signs.

Is Harry really gay? How could he have missed out on it? Now that he thinks about it, it really is obvious. Why else would Harry be so comfortable masturbating in front of him? This is too much for Dougie to think about, as he can barely get past the thought that he could now fantasize about his best friend, with less guilt. Hell, maybe Harry could become attracted to him?

Dougie doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but all he can think about is his best friend. He begins thinking about losing his virginity to him, and within a few minutes he grows hard. So here he lies, on his back, tugging his jeans down.

After he gets his jeans off he turns on his stereo, so no one will be able to hear him if he accidentally lets a noise slip. His eyes are shut again as he lets his hands travel down his bare chest and stomach, over the flat surface, picturing it's Harry running his hands over him. He shivers slightly when he reaches the waist of his boxers and he very slowly pulls them down, pretending the older boy is teasing him. He lets his fingers wander along his hips and the creases of his thighs before he finally drags his index finger along the underside of his shaft.

Dougie doesn't even notice Harry enter the room; he's too wrapped up in the scenario playing in his mind. He's completely naked and completely exposed on the bed, his hand now wrapped around his cock as he slowly jerks himself off. He's picturing himself and Harry on a couch in his living room, and he imagines the boy has his mouth around him. A small moan escapes his lips and he brings one hand to his mouth, spitting on it to wet it before he reaches down between his legs. He runs his thumb over the head and groans.

He begins to work his hand faster, his imagination running absolutely wild. He uses his free hand to scrape down his chest and abdomen, whimpering a bit before running his palm back up. He's beginning to pant slightly, his jaw hanging open a tiny amount as he buckles his hips up. He can picture Harry having his way with him, and it's driving him mad with desire.

Dougie can feel the pleasure building up as he draws himself closer and closer to the edge. He's beginning to sweat now, panting heavier from the slight exertion. He stops the movement of his hand suddenly, dipping his fingers down to drag his non-existent nails up the sensitive vein. He groans and immediately starts pumping his hand again, and he arches his back up off the bed as he feels the start of an orgasm coming on.

His abdomen tightens and he moans even louder this time as he pumps his hand a few more times, and he shoots his load out and onto his hand. "Oh God, Harry..." he groans, eyes still shut, still completely oblivious to the boy’s presence. His chest is heaving and he collapses flat on the bed, the climax taking a lot out of him. After a few moments he's brought back to reality, but refuses to open his eyes because he knows what he just imagined didn't really happen.

_____

Harry sighs to himself, frustrated when he finds the front door of Dougie’s house to be locked. He knocks repeatedly on the door, waiting impatiently, praying that Dougie will open it.

"Dougie it’s me, open the door, please!" He shouts hopelessly, still rapping at the wood. He immediately stops, taken aback when the door swings open and he comes face to face with Dougie’s father.

"Jesus, what’s gotten into you boys? First Dougie storms in without a word, and slams the door, locking himself in his room. Now you come screaming for him, nearly breaking down my front door?"

Harry sighs softly, his voice softer than usual. "I’m sorry Mr. Poynter, we sort of got into a fight and I’ve come to fix things. And apologize."

The look on the older man’s face quickly changes to a concerned one. "You and Dougie fought? That’s not like you two at all. I’m sorry to hear that." Harry simply shrugs, and steps inside the house. "Would you like something to eat, Harry? Maybe you could take something up to Dougie as well." The boy nods and follows Dougie’s father into the kitchen.

Plate in hand now, Harry makes his way upstairs towards the familiar bedroom. Resting his free hand on the doorknob, he smiles weakly to himself when he hears the sound of his favourite band filtering through the walls. He watches the handle as it turns, making sure he’s almost silent as he opens the door just enough for him to slip inside the room. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees Dougie, his eyes wide, and he’s unable to blink or move.

His eyes continue to widen when he realizes Dougie hasn’t noticed him walk in. He finally tears his eyes away from the younger boy and looks behind him with a very guilty looking smile, to check that no one’s behind him. Harry blushes almost crimson as he watches him, almost certain he’ll get caught and have to stutter out an explanation. Hesitantly resting his head on the doorframe, he fixates his eyes on Dougie’s body, still listening closely for a noise behind him.

He feels himself go weak at the knees as his eyes wander over every inch of the boy’s body. He clenches his fist as his fingers begin itching to feel the warm soft skin under his fingertips. His blush deepens, if possible, as he glances down at the growing bulge in his own jeans, and he bites down hard on his lip. His eyes remain glued to the sight before him, his heart jumping as he imagines that he’s the one Dougie’s thinking about, but he knows that would be something to good to be true. Wait a minute, since when was Harry attracted to Dougie? Harry finds himself suddenly realizing that maybe Dougie’s much more alluring than he’d originally thought.

Harry sinks his teeth down hard into the soft flesh of his bottom lip when he hears a moan escape the other boy’s throat. His eyes are watching Dougie’s hand carefully, his own throbbing cock begging for attention though he barely notices. Running his tongue over his now bleeding lip, his mind toys with the idea of the boy’s length in his mouth, and he digs his nails into his palm, his eyes burning with sheer lust. This is so much better than reading that story.

He takes a small, short breath when he hears Dougie groan out his name. He’s certain his mind isn't playing tricks this time, and his jaw drops slightly as he mumbles "what?" out of habit before he can stop himself. Biting his lip into his mouth and then clamping his hand over it before he does anything stupid, he slowly backs out of the room, silently closing the door again.

A wide grin spreads over his face as he heads back down the stairs, and into the kitchen. He falls into a dream-like state, now realizing why Dougie was so upset when he discovered Harry’s little secret. Dougie likes him. Him. Harry. Of all people. That cheeky little grin remains on his face as he sets the plate back onto the kitchen counter, and makes his way out of the Poynter residence.

Maybe Harry being gay isn’t such a bad thing after all.

( x-posted to mcflyslash )

slash_100 ; 002

2006-03-16T02:55:19Z

Title: I Won't Drink Tonight
Fandom: McFly
Character: Dougie Poynter
Prompt: 086;Circle
Word Count: 752
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Here we go, around and around again in circles...
Author's Notes: From Dougie's point of view. A death occurs, but it is by no means graphic. Alcohol abuse occurs as well, so please be warned.

Laughter. The contagious sound of people having a good time. The television wasn’t very loud, but we watched it intently. The pizza had just arrived, and we enjoyed it with a good movie. There were four of us. Harry, a very close friend of mine, along with two others I knew, but weren’t very close to. Danny and Tom were their names.

I won’t drink tonight I thought to myself. We do this every week. I need to stop drinking. There was no alcohol in the house yet, so I was relieved.

Suddenly the front door swung open and a crowd of people entered the house. There must have been about six of them. None of whom I recognized. Harry looked just as surprised as I was.

"I hope you guys don’t mind, I invited a few friends" Danny said. Three more people came in, each holding a case of beer. I recognized one of them as James, an old acquaintance of mine. By the time all of the strangers had settled, there were about seven or eight cases of beer on the floor of the living room.

Slowly the cases emptied. So much for staying sober. More and more people entered the house, each one joining us. A keg of beer arrived, and another, and then another. Four more hours passed before Harry and I decided to leave. I made my way out the door, and walked onto the sidewalk. I was surprised I could walk as well as I did.

"Heyy..." I heard a slurred voice from behind me. It was Harry in his jeep.

"Heyy maan...are, are you...surrre you’re okay to...drive man?" I asked, and began laughing at how drunk I sounded. Harry laughed too. Then he sped off down the street. He didn’t answer me.

I turned the corner and flinched from what I saw up ahead. Those lights...they’re so bright...and that ringing...it’s too loud...ow...my head hurts. I need to stop drinking. As I got closer to the lights and the ringing, I realized what was going on. They were sirens. It was an ambulance, and a few police cars. No, it couldn’t be... Then came a loud scream, which rang all too loudly in my ears. Ow! My head... I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw it clearly. Two smashed vehicles. People crying and panicking, and beds on wheels. Wait, those are...stretchers? Four of them. My heart stopped when I recognized one of the vehicles.

Harry’s jeep. I ran as best I could to the crash.

"Harry!" I screamed. I flinched again as a shockwave of pain rang in my head, and I stumbled trying to find him. Ow! Okay don’t scream. Harry...where are you? Please God let him be okay. I was stopped short by a police officer. He motioned me away. I started walking home, not wanting to cause trouble. Thoughts and worries flooded my mind. Is he dead? Why didn’t I stop him from driving? It’s all my fault. Ow! What was that? I was interrupted by a sharp, burning pain in the side of my head. Ow, this hurts too much. I need to stop drinking.

I was awoken by a loud ringing beside my ear. My head...ouch it’s too loud. Wait, that’s the telephone.

"Mmhello?" I moaned into the receiver. It was the police. They informed me of all of last night’s events. Harry was killed instantly. In the other car, there was a woman, twenty-two years old, with two young children, ages one and four. The woman was killed instantly, and the children died in the hospital. I hung up the phone as tears streamed down my cheeks. He’s gone. And I could have stopped it. If only I hadn’t let him drive! If only we didn’t drink. If only James didn’t bring the beer. If only, if only. But it’s too late. He’s gone. My head hurts.

Laughter. The contagious sound of people having a good time. The pizza just arrived, and we were enjoying it while a movie was playing. I won’t drink tonight. We do this every week. The door swung open, and in walked James, along with a few other people, each holding a case of beer. A few tears began to trickle down my cheek. I stood up and pushed past the new arrivals. I turned onto the sidewalk and began walking home. My best mate is dead. So are three other innocent young people. I won’t drink tonight. I WON’T drink tonight.

slash_100 ; 001

2006-03-15T21:01:26Z

Title: Lost, Broken, Confused
Fandom: McFly
Characters: Dougie Poynter
Prompt: 061;Broken
Word Count: 1031
Rating: PG
Summary: "Dougie, you lost me a long time ago."
Author's Notes: Alternate Universe. Dougie is still in high school, and Harry has graduated.

Slowly waking, I open my eyes but quickly shut them as the evil sunrays attack me. Damn sun. It has to be so bright doesn’t it? I pull the blankets over my head for a few minutes. Inch by inch I pull my head out, trying to adjust to the menacing light.

I glance over at my clock. 8:15! Bloody hell! I have school in fifteen minutes! I kick off my blankets and jump out of bed, only to fall flat on my face with a thud. Ow! What the...?! I glance at my feet to see I’m tangled in the covers. I can’t help but pathetically laugh at myself as I attempt to unwind the duvet from my legs, grunting and cursing in the process.

"I know you think I’m stupid, but I do catch your little innuendos"

Looking in the mirror I try to fix my hair as best I can.

"I never said that! I know you’re every bit as smart as me! You don’t have to prove anything to me,I just want-"

"You just want everything we had back, and it’s gone, okay? There’s nothing we can do about it. So just stop trailing me and get out of my life."

Tears trickle down my cheeks as I’m walking to school. It’s not fair. I think about it every day of my life. And every day I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest all over again.

I drag my feet up the stairs towards my locker. I can’t seem to find the energy to move on time. I groggily open the locker, accidentally bashing it into my face. Great! What a way to start off the morning.

"Guys! Will you please shut up?!" I bet you could hear Ms. Schwartz yelling at us from halfway down the hall. I wonder what today’s lesson will be? Schizophrenia? Maybe another movie. Who knows. Who cares. All I can think about is that day. The day you left me behind. I’ll never forget it.

"...in many ways. An immature frontal cortex causes some teens to make irresponsible decisions; the cruel irony is that during this most vulnerable time of brain development, teens tend to experiment with drugs and alcohol, and their brains will be affected for the rest of their lives."

Uh...what? I missed most of that. Maybe I should have been listening to the beginning of the lecture. Ah well. It can’t be that important. Sometimes I wonder where you are, or what you’re doing right now. Do you ever think of me? My eyes slowly begin to close as I drift off.

"Why should I stay? I have no reason to stay!"

"I thought you cared about me."

"Well I thought I did too."

I try my hardest to hold back the tears.

"...so basically that means that during this chaotic time, you guys need to have unconditional support from those around you." Hmm. You hear that? You’re supposed to care about me, Harry.

"No. You leave because you could care less, and you don’t feel like dealing with me. Is that it? You’re leaving because you don’t care?"

"Come on, Harry don’t be like this. You know that’s not true. I’m not leaving you."

"You’re pathetic Dougie, you know that?"

The rest of the day just seems to drag on and on. Nothing unusual. I walk into class, the people stare at me like I’m a freak, the "popular" kids make fun of me behind my back, homework like you wouldn’t believe gets piled on, you know. The usual. But these people, they just don’t know. They don’t know what it’s like to be alone, what it’s like when the one person you truly care about leaves you.

"Aye, Doug!" I turn around to come face to face with my friend Danny. He looks awful. His eyes are bloodshot, and he has a black eye. His voice is raspy, and he looks unbelievably high.

"What the hell happened to your face?"

"I got in a fight."

"How come?"

"I dunno..." he shrugs and looks at a student passing by. "Stupid reasons I guess. Hey you got any coke on you?" His eyes start to water and he looks at his watch. I shake my head. Sometimes I wish I did though. Because then, for once I could leave the world behind and forget about you.

"Doug, I seriously need cocaine right now. I can’t function without it." Ouch. I look at him sympathetically.

"Have you considered rehab?"

He shoots me an angry look. "No, I’m not addicted." Yeah...right. Whatever you say Danny.

"Look, I gotta go, I’ll catch you later Danny." He nods and we part ways.

"Harry, come on! You’re in some twisted little world and you need to come back to reality! You know that I care about you!"

"Yeah, well things change."

My eyes, throat, and stomach are burning from the crying. I feel like a walking train wreck. It’s not fair. Why do I go through this every day? Why can’t I just forget you? I’m failing most of my classes, I have a total of about two friends, I’m stuck with a dead end job, and on top of it all, I’m alone. Completely lost and alone.

"Doesn’t it make you feel like shit to be left behind?"

"I can’t lose you. Please. You’re the only person I’ve ever really cared about."

"Dougie, you lost me a long time ago."

Why can’t I stop the pain? It hurts. It hurts beyond belief. But you don’t care. You never did. My best just wasn’t good enough for you. I don’t understand it. I was so happy as a kid, up until a year ago. It’s like once you hit 16, everything starts to go wrong. It’s not fair. Being a teenager sucks.

Opening my closet door, I reach for Flopsy, my favourite childhood toy. I crawl into bed and turn on my music, lying back onto my pillows. I lie like this, cuddling Flopsy for what feels like hours. Oh what I wouldn’t give to be a kid again. Innocent, carefree, and happy. Sadly those days are over.